Hey Our Basement,
There’s so much going on in a hushed way in the visualizer for “Grateful.” These are things beyond our control. Waves crash whether we like it or not and thunderstorms are impossible to ignore.
I wrote and tracked this song when I was working a full-time job, studying full-time, struggling as a musician, and balancing the roles of girlfriend, best friend, and sister.
Love and deep meaningful relationships were everywhere I looked when I wrote “Grateful,” yet something about this wasn’t absorbing. I felt guilty about not being able to feel it in my heart, even though in real life it was all there.
A slow dreading numbness can be really visceral when I hit these low periods. It’s like everything is a little blurry, faded, and far away. Everything’s confusing but nothing’s urgent. No beginning or end.
I finished the vocals in my bedroom just after coming home from getting a pretty harsh critique on a final assignment, rain was pouring, and I had to make it out the door to make the closing shift.
It was a grey November day and I parked outside my workplace, unable to leave my car even though my shift had started. It was then that I just broke down.
I eventually picked myself back up and walked in. No one would’ve noticed, but I knew that things weren’t good.
Thank you for listening,
Jenny Palacios